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)INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D. Powers survey, and I think our "too clever" openings may have something to do with it.And use a simple disclaimer, like: *Under 18? Go away.* That'd do it. OK, let's get to work. Oh, and Dick, please report to my office. It's Wednesday.ThanksM1KEBTW: In case you're wondering, we had to let Hugh G. Rection go. He just didn't fit in.Contest Entry #2Here is another entry for Celeste's Short Story Contest. The first entry probably didn't count anyway, 'cause it wasn't really a story. It was just a memo, which we all see too many of. This one isn't really a story either.It's more of a rant, but what the fuck. Rules are. "Now it's out and wecan talk about it."I jumped to my feet and immediately denied her allegations. Purely outof instinct, because she was right and I was deeply ashamed. Yes, Ihad been wearing my mother's clothes, but I wasn't ready to admit tomyself or anyone else that I really wanted to be a woman. Sure, Ithought about it. As a matter of fact, I thought about it constantly,but I always wrote it off as some weird fantasy. Fantasies aren'tsupposed to come true. That's what makes them different than goals andaspirations. I certainly didn't aspire to be a woman. I was happybeing a boy. I had a good life as a boy and I certainly wasn't gay.No, I wasn't gay. I'd never been with another boy and didn't fantasizeabout being with other boys. However, I often fantasized about being awoman, and as that woman, I also fantasized about having sex a man.Passionate, amazing sex, where I was beautiful and alluring and he wasa handsome, caring, well-endowed partner. I didn't think of that.
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